Jet Mariano

Tag: hope

  • Tú Puedes — The Refining Fire of Grief

    Everything felt blurred… but the message was clear.
    Tú puedes.

    Excerpt
    I thought I would be used to grief by now. I was wrong. But in the middle of it… a quiet message remained: Tú puedes.

    Intro
    March 23, 2026.

    While at work, I received a message from my younger daughter. She had gone into early contractions at 4AM and lost her baby boy at 19 weeks. His name would have been Solis Xavier.

    It felt like I was struck by lightning.

    In that moment, another memory returned—November 20, 2021. My firstborn daughter went through a similar loss. Her baby boy, Kale’l, was just days away from being born.

    I suddenly felt helpless. I stayed in my office for about an hour, trying to process everything, while our President and HR sat with me.

    The grief didn’t feel new.

    But it didn’t feel any lighter either.

    Notes from Life & Loss
    I thought that after everything I had already experienced—my younger brother, my father, my grandson, my sister-in-law—that I would have learned how to handle grief better.

    I thought maybe I would be used to it by now.

    I’ve heard people say, “life goes on.”

    But I realized something.

    I am not wired that way.

    Each loss feels just as deep. Just as real.

    Even when a coworker passed away earlier this year, I was affected.

    Grief doesn’t lessen because it repeats.

    It remains… because love remains.

    Refining Fire (Ensign 2013 Connection)
    In The Refining Fire of Grief, it teaches that grief is not something we outgrow—it is something that refines us.

    Grief is not a sign of weakness.

    It is the evidence that we love.

    And maybe the reason it still hurts…
    is because I still do.

    Turning Point
    The next day, I tried to fight it the only way I knew how.

    I went to the basement and pushed through six rounds—slipping, ducking, rolling, throwing nonstop combinations. It was the most I had ever done.

    But it didn’t help.

    So I went to the temple.

    Before I entered, I noticed something in my car—a simple band with yellow letters:

    “Tú puedes.”

    I didn’t know what it meant at the time.

    But I brought it with me.

    I placed it in front of the temple.

    Everything else felt blurred…
    but that message became clear.

    You can.

    Perspective (Direct Impressions)
    “You can.”
    “You are still standing.”
    “My grace is sufficient.”

    Not that the pain was gone…
    but that I had strength for this moment.

    The road didn’t stop for my grief. It kept going.
    And in the distance… the temple reminded me where to look.


    On the way, I realized something.

    The road doesn’t stop for grief.

    It keeps going.

    And in the distance… the temple remains.

    Not always close.
    But always there.

    Practice (today, not someday)
    Go anyway.
    Pray anyway.
    Show up anyway.

    Even when your heart is heavy.

    Because that is where strength is given.

    Final Reflection
    I thought I would be used to this by now.

    I’m not.

    And maybe that’s not something to fix.

    Maybe that’s something to understand.

    If this is the refining fire…
    then I will endure it.

    Because love is still worth it.

    And in the middle of it all…

    Tú puedes.

    Kale’l and Xavier.
    Not lost. Not gone.
    Just beyond my reach… for now.

    Pocket I’m Keeping
    Tú puedes.

    What I Hear Now (direct quotes)
    “My grace is sufficient for thee.”
    “I will not leave you comfortless.”
    “Be still, and know that I am God.”

    © 2012–2026 Jet Mariano. All rights reserved.
    For usage terms, please see the Legal Disclaimer.

  • MIT-8 “I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee”

    Oquirrh Temple under the snow moon. A quiet reminder that the light stays, even on nights that hurt.

    Excerpt

    “From the bed of pain, from the pillow wet with tears, we are lifted heavenward by that divine assurance and precious promise: ‘I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.’”

    “Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives: ‘I know that my Redeemer lives!’”

    Intro

    Some losses come quietly. Others come with shock.

    When I lost my father on my birthday, I learned what it means to cry and still stand. This week, as death again entered my family circle, President Thomas S. Monson’s words returned to me like an anchor dropped in deep water.

    Death has visited my life more than once. Each time feels different. Each time cuts differently. And yet, the promise remains unchanged.

    He will not fail us.
    He will not forsake us.
    And because He lives, those we love live also.

    Notes from President Thomas S. Monson

    President Monson spoke from personal grief. When his beloved wife Frances passed away, he did not speak as a distant theologian. He spoke as a husband who said, “To say that I miss her does not begin to convey the depth of my feelings.”

    Yet he declared:

    “I know that our separation is temporary… This is the knowledge that sustains me.”

    He reminded us that suffering is universal. No life is free from sorrow. The question is not whether we will suffer. The question is whether we will falter or finish.

    He pointed to Job, stripped of everything, who still declared:

    “I know that my Redeemer liveth.”

    President Monson taught that trials refine us. They do not destroy us unless we allow them to. “Good timber does not grow with ease.” Strength is forged in storm.

    And in another sacred testimony, he declared:

    “Because our Savior died at Calvary, death has no hold upon any one of us.”

    Death is not extinction. It is transition.
    “He is not here, but is risen.”

    And because He rose, so shall we.

    Perspective

    When I saw death up close again, I felt shaken. Grief does that. It is real. It is heavy.

    But President Monson’s voice steadied me.

    “Whether it is the best of times or the worst of times, He is with us.”

    That is not poetic language. That is covenant language.

    I have lost my father.
    I have lost my younger brother.
    I have lost my grandson.
    Now my sister-in-law.

    Each loss has a different intensity. Each one leaves a different imprint.

    Yet the doctrine remains constant.

    “If a man die, shall he live again?”

    “If a man die, he shall live again.”

    That is not wishful thinking. That is Resurrection truth.

    Practice (today, not someday)

    Today I will not demand that grief disappear.

    Today I will:

    Pray even when my voice trembles.
    Listen to hymns that remind my heart of heaven.
    Speak hope to my children when they feel unsettled.
    Choose to believe that separation is temporary.

    I will remember that enduring does not mean suppressing pain. It means walking through it with faith intact.

    Today I finish. I do not falter.

    Final Reflection

    President Monson said, “This is the knowledge that sustains.”

    Not eliminates sorrow.
    Not removes tears.
    Sustains.

    There is a difference.

    From the pillow wet with tears, we are lifted heavenward.

    That lifting is real.

    Because He lives, death is not a wall. It is a door.

    Pocket I’m Keeping

    “He will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.”

    “I know that my Redeemer liveth.”

    Those two promises together are enough.

    What I Hear Now

    “I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.”

    “Because our Savior died at Calvary, death has no hold upon any one of us.”

    “Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives: I know that my Redeemer lives.”

    And tonight, that is enough.

    © 2012–2026 Jet Mariano. All rights reserved.
    For usage terms, please see the Legal Disclaimer.

  • Marked in Time — Tomorrow the Lord Will Do Wonders Among You

    Oquirrh Mountain Temple under the first supermoon of 2026 — a reminder that light always returns.

    Excerpt
    “With the gift of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the strength of heaven to help us, we can improve.”

    Intro
    Some messages arrive when the heart needs reassurance more than instruction. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland’s talk reminds me that discipleship is not about perfection today — it is about hope for tomorrow. Like the rising of the moon over the temple, light returns even after the darkest moments.

    Notes from Elder Holland
    Elder Holland teaches that the gospel is meant to inspire progress, not discourage effort. The Lord does not expect immediate perfection. He asks us to keep trying, trusting in the power of the Atonement to help us grow over time.

    Perspective (direct quotes)
    “First of all, if in the days ahead you not only see limitations in those around you but also find elements in your own life that don’t yet measure up to the messages you have heard this weekend, please don’t be cast down in spirit and don’t give up.”

    “The gospel, the Church, and these wonderful semiannual gatherings are intended to give hope and inspiration. They are not intended to discourage you.”

    “With the gift of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the strength of heaven to help us, we can improve, and the great thing about the gospel is we get credit for trying, even if we don’t always succeed.”

    President George Q. Cannon once taught:
    “No matter how serious the trial, how deep the distress, how great the affliction, [God] will never desert us. He never has, and He never will.”

    Practice (today, not someday)
    Today I will remember that effort matters to God. Progress matters to God. Trying matters to God. I will move forward with faith, even when growth feels slow.

    Final Reflection
    Hope in the gospel is not based on perfection — it is based on the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Tomorrow really can be brighter than today because God is patient with our growth.

    Pocket I’m Keeping
    “We get credit for trying.”

    What I Hear Now (direct quotes)
    “Tomorrow the Lord will do wonders among you.”
    “He will never desert us.”

    © 2012–2026 Jet Mariano. All rights reserved.
    For usage terms, please see the Legal Disclaimer.

  • MIT8 – “Don’t Give Up, Boy”

    By Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, Oct 1999

    Layton Temple beneath the final supermoon of 2025 — a quiet witness that light continues to rise, even after long nights.

    Excerpt

    “Don’t give up, boy. Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead. Trust God and believe in good things to come.”

    Intro

    For the last four days, I have listened repeatedly to Elder Jeffrey R. Holland’s talk An High Priest of Good Things to Come. On December 4, 2025, standing at the Layton Temple beneath the final supermoon of the year, those words settled deeply into my heart.

    This was not a message of quick relief or easy answers. It was a message spoken to the weary, the long-suffering, and those who keep walking even when the road feels endless.

    Notes from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

    Elder Holland shared a tender, personal account from his life — a moment when he imagined speaking to his younger self during a season of discouragement and uncertainty.

    Rather than rewriting the past, he offered reassurance. Not denial of hardship, but perspective gained through time, faith, and endurance.

    His message was simple and powerful: God was already at work. Help was already coming. And quitting was never the answer.

    Perspective (Direct Quotes)

    “In that imaginary instant, I couldn’t help calling out to him: ‘Don’t give up, boy. Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying.’”

    “There is help and happiness ahead — a lot of it — 30 years of it now, and still counting.”

    “You keep your chin up. It will be all right in the end.”

    “Trust God and believe in good things to come.”

    Practice (Today, Not Someday)

    Today, the practice is not dramatic change. It is refusal to quit.

    It is continuing to walk when answers are delayed. It is continuing to believe when outcomes are unseen. It is choosing faith not because the road is easy, but because God is faithful.

    Today, I keep walking.

    Final Reflection

    Under the rising supermoon at the Layton Temple, I felt something quiet but firm: reassurance does not erase trials, but it strengthens the traveler.

    God does not rush us through our struggles. He walks with us through them.

    Pocket I’m Keeping

    “Don’t give up. Don’t quit. Keep walking. Trust God. Good things are coming.”

    Link to the Talk

    An High Priest of Good Things to Come – Elder Jeffrey R. Holland https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1999/10/an-high-priest-of-good-things-to-come?lang=eng

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  • Hidden in Plain Sight: Camouflage, Storms, and the Light That Never Fades

    Green dragonfly camouflaged among yellow-green croton leaves; wings catch a thin line of light.

    Excerpt

    A dragonfly vanishes into the croton leaves—nearly invisible until the light catches its wings. Even when we can’t see, the Light is still there.

    Intro

    Elder Neal A. Maxwell compared life’s dark weather to a storm where we cannot see the sun but know it is still there. Likewise, in our stormy moments the Son of God remains constant. This image of a camouflaged dragonfly became a quiet parable of that promise.

    Notes from Elder Maxwell

    • “You’ve all been in a storm… when you couldn’t see the sun but you knew it was still there. Likewise… the Son of God is always there. His light will never go out.”
    • Hope is not wishful thinking; it is trust in a steady, unwavering Light.
    • Our task is to keep moving by faith when sight is momentarily withheld.

    Perspective

    Camouflage works because color and pattern mimic the surroundings. Fear does the same—blending truth into the noise until guidance seems gone. But the Light hasn’t moved. Shift your angle, breathe, and let the glare settle; suddenly the wings glint, and direction returns.

    Practice (today, not someday)

    • When anxiety spikes, pause and pray: “I know You’re here even if I can’t see.”
    • Name one current “storm,” then write one way Christ has lifted you before.
    • Look for small glints—scripture lines, kindness, music—that catch the light.

    Final Reflection

    Faith is the discipline of remembering the sun in a storm and the Savior in shadow. The scene may hide Him for a moment; it cannot extinguish Him.

    Pocket I’m Keeping

    “His light will never go out.”

    What I Hear Now

    Hold course. Let Me be your fixed point while the weather passes.

    © 2012–2025 Jet Mariano. All rights reserved.
    For usage terms, please see the Legal Disclaimer.

  • Sunflower Faith: Strength to Keep Trying

    a monarch resting on a sunflower — a living parable of light, patience, and lift.

    Excerpt

    When trials feel like too much, remember: the Lord proves us to strengthen us. Like a butterfly on a sunflower, we are held up by light we didn’t make and warmth we didn’t earn.

    Intro

    Elder Henry B. Eyring taught that through the glorious Atonement, Jesus Christ knows exactly how to succor us. Strength doesn’t grow in comfort; it grows when we feel stretched beyond what we thought we could bear. If we continue in faith — especially when it feels impossible — we become spiritually stronger.

    Notes from Conference (Oct 5, 2025 General Conference)

    • Christ can succor perfectly because He has felt every mortal challenge.
    • Proving times are strengthening times, not signs of abandonment.
    • Discipleship is continuing — never giving up, always trying again in Him.
    • Faith while it’s hard invites His power to change us.

    Perspective

    God is mindful — of sunflowers and butterflies, and even more of souls. Elder Neal A. Maxwell reminded us that there are more stars than grains of sand, yet “souls matter more than stars.” If heaven attends to sparrows and petals, it will not forget your name, your tears, or your next step.

    Practice (today, not someday)

    • Whisper a prayer of trust: “Lord, I choose to keep trying.”
    • Do one small act of goodness for someone who can’t repay you.
    • Write a line of gratitude for help you didn’t expect.
    • Sit in a patch of light — outside or by a window — and breathe until your shoulders lower.

    Final Reflection

    The Atonement is not just rescue; it is renewable strength. Trials may bend us, but in Christ they do not break us. Keep turning your face to the light. He will meet you where courage runs thin and hope begins again.

    Pocket I’m Keeping

    “Proving is strengthening.” When the wind rises, roots go deeper.

    What I Hear Now

    Be steadfast. Keep moving toward Me. I know how to carry you.

    © 2012–2025 Jet Mariano. All rights reserved.
    For usage terms, please see the Legal Disclaimer.

  • MIT8 — “Don’t You Quit” (Disneyland Fireworks)

    Sleeping Beauty Castle during the fireworks, framed by the Partners statue. Tripod + remote shutter, long exposure on the 14–24mm f/2.8G. Manual focus, no flash.

    Why this fits Elder Holland

    Elder Jeffrey R. Holland: “Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead… Some blessings come soon, some come late… but they come.”
    Fireworks are a patience test. You compose in the dark, wait through false starts, and trust the next burst will fill the sky. That is discipleship in miniature: keep your place, stay steady, believe light is coming.

    Pocket I’m keeping

    When life feels like a long exposure with nothing on the sensor yet, don’t touch the tripod. Hold your ground. Keep praying, keep working, keep walking. The frame will fill.

    BTS (how I made it)

    • Arrived early to anchor composition on Walt & Mickey leading to the castle and sky
    • Tripod low, remote shutter to avoid vibration; manual focus set before showtime
    • Long exposure to “draw” fans and heart-shapes in the air; no flash to keep ambient color
    • Wide at 14–18mm to include crowd, statue, castle, and sky in one story

    Final reflection

    Walt’s “dreams come true” meets Elder Holland’s “don’t you quit.” Courage starts the dream; covenant faith finishes it. Stay close to Christ and keep moving—light always finds the faithful.

    © 2012–2025 Jet Mariano. All rights reserved.
    For usage terms, please see the Legal Disclaimer.

  • Marked in Time — Salt Lake Temple at Night

    Salt Lake Temple with bus light trails (5 s) and a second exposure for the moon’s detail—the driver was literally playing Don’t Stop Believin’.

    Excerpt
    Headlights, moonlight, and a bus playing “Don’t Stop Believin’.” Intensity 10+.

    Intro
    A passenger bus idled beside me on South Temple. I waited. When it finally pulled out, I opened a long exposure—the lights turned to wide ribbons across the Salt Lake Temple. Then I made a second, short exposure for the moon so its texture wouldn’t blow out. The street soundtrack? Don’t Stop Believin’. Right place, right song, right night.

    Notes from the song (what’s good in it)

    • Hope is a direction, not denial.
    • Ordinary people + late nights + small steps → real progress.
    • Community lifts courage; we don’t walk alone.
    • Grit and wonder can share the same frame.

    Perspective (direct quotes)
    “Streetlight people …”
    “Searchin’ in the night …”

    Practice (today, not someday)

    • One real step toward the work that matters.
    • Encourage one person by name.
    • Re-anchor: Grounded • Rooted • Established • Settled.

    Final Reflection
    Faith feels like this image: long exposure for the road ahead, quick exposure for the guiding light. The temple stands—reinforced at the foundation—and so do I.

    Pocket I’m Keeping
    Between streetlights, keep moving.

    What I Hear Now (direct quote)
    “Don’t stop believin’.”

    Soundtrack
    Journey — Don’t Stop Believin’ Official Link

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    For usage terms, please see the Legal Disclaimer.

  • Marked in Time — Sep 15, 2025 “Grounded, Rooted, Established, and Settled”

    Sun crowns the Angel Moroni and echoes in the red-car reflection—heaven above, witness below. Today I’m choosing to be “grounded, rooted, established, and settled.” Elder Neal A. Maxwell’s devotional was given 44 years ago today (Sept 15, 1981); I’ve listened to and reread it more than forty times since last night, and it still steadies me.
    Behind the shot (BTS)
    iPhone only. I walked the grounds, lining up angles until the sun sat directly behind Moroni. I waited for the clouds to thin, then chose the red car as my foreground to mirror the spire and add a second “sun.” Composing a photograph isn’t easy—it takes patience, timing, and a little inspiration.

    Excerpt
    When life feels hot and hurried, deep roots matter. Elder Neal A. Maxwell taught us to become “grounded, rooted, established, and settled.” Today I’m practicing that—quietly, covenant by covenant—so the sun doesn’t scorch my faith.

    Intro
    What a coincidence—September 15. On this date in 1981, Elder Neal A. Maxwell delivered a devotional that feels tailor-made for our moment. He urged a discipleship with depth, the kind that survives heat and headlines: grounded, rooted, established, and settled. He reminded us that God’s curriculum is deliberate—patience, meekness, love, self-discipline—and that routine isn’t pedestrian; it’s providential. Real growth happens “in process of time” and “according to the flesh”—ordinary days doing eternal work. If the world’s scaffolding falls away, what stands? Holy ground and holy habits. I want those roots.

    Straight line
    • Deep roots > fast leaves (Colossians 2:6–7).
    • After we’ve “suffered a while,” grace “stablish[es], strengthen[s], settle[s]” (1 Peter 5:10).
    • The seed survives the sun when nourished “with great diligence, and with patience” (Alma 32).
    • Ordinary days are eternal classrooms; portable skills—meekness, charity, self-discipline—rise with us.

    Notes from Elder Maxwell (Sep 15, 1981)
    • Growth without roots scorches. Disciples withstand heat because they are grounded—not trending.
    • Scaffolding and applause fall away; covenant habits remain.
    • God’s curriculum forms eternal, portable skills we’ll need forever.
    • Routine can be resplendent: quiet covenant keeping outlasts headlines.
    • Keep gospel perspective: our basic circumstances are strikingly similar—we are God’s children, accountable, loved, and capable of steady growth.

    Perspective (directly from the devotional)
    “A hundred years from now, today’s seeming deprivations and tribulations will not matter then unless we let them matter too much now. A hundred years from now, today’s serious physical ailment will be but a fleeting memory.”

    “A thousand years from now, those who now worry and are anguished because they are unmarried will, if they are faithful, have smiles of satisfaction on their faces in the midst of a vast convocation of their posterity. The seeming deprivation which occurs in the life of a single woman who feels she has no prospects of marriage and motherhood properly endured is but a delayed blessing, the readying of a reservoir into which a generous God will pour all that he hath. Indeed, it will be the Malachi measure: ‘there shall not be room enough to receive it’ (Malachi 3:10).”

    Practice (today, not someday)
    • Choose one root to deepen: scripture before screens; prayer with listening; sacrament with intent.
    • Trade hurry for holy: slow the reply, soften the tone, serve someone nearby.
    • Write one “settled” choice: the commandment I will keep even when the sun is hot.
    • Plant a small habit that outlasts headlines: five minutes of gratitude, one quiet act of mercy, one bridge-building conversation.

    Final reflection
    I can’t cool the world’s weather, but I can deepen my roots. If I will be grounded in Christ, the same sun that scorches shallow soil will ripen real fruit. Ordinary days, kept with covenants, become the very ground where God “stablishes, strengthens, and settles” the soul.

    Pocket I’m keeping
    • Deep roots before bright leaves.
    • Perspective over panic.
    • Ordinary days are eternal classrooms.
    • Meekness travels well—now and forever.

    What I hear now
    “Rooted and built up in him, and stablished in the faith” (Colossians 2:7).
    “After that ye have suffered a while… stablish, strengthen, settle you” (1 Peter 5:10).
    “Nourished by your faith with great diligence, and with patience” (Alma 32:41).

    Link to the talk
    BYU Devotional, Elder Neal A. Maxwell, September 15, 1981 (searchable on speeches.byu.edu).

    © 2012–2025 Jet Mariano. All rights reserved.
    For usage terms, please see the Legal Disclaimer.

  • Marked in Time — Sep 14, 2025 “The Enmity of All Flesh Shall Cease”

    I waited for silence—no wind, no fountain—then the temple doubled in the pond. “The enmity of all flesh shall cease” (D&C 101:26).
    BTS: [x trips], [y minutes/hours] of watching the surface until the last ripple
    disappeared.

    Intro
    News this week was hard to take. A familiar U2 refrain kept circling my mind—“How long?” When the world feels loud and unsteady, I go back to the Lord’s promises. In 1833, as Saints were driven from their homes in Missouri, the Savior described what His return will bring (see Doctrine and Covenants 101:23–34): we will see Him together; all things will become new; the enmity of all flesh will cease; Satan will lose his hold; sorrow will yield to life; and truth will be revealed in full. That is not wishful thinking—it’s a covenant future.

    Straight line

    • Begin living heaven’s law now. When the Savior appeared in the Americas, He warned plainly: “He that hath the spirit of contention is not of me” (3 Nephi 11:29).
    • It really can happen. After His ministry, the record reports: “There was no contention among all the people” for many years (4 Nephi 1:13).
    • Zion prepares the way. Elder D. Todd Christofferson taught that the Lord will return to a people prepared to receive Him—Zion: “of one heart and one mind,” righteous, with “no poor among them” (April 2019, Preparing for the Lord’s Return).
    • Preparation looks practical. Lower our voices. Lift burdens. Trade hot takes for holy listening. Replace talking points with personal service.
    • Practice the peace you’re praying for. The future promise is sure; the daily choice is mine.

    Final reflection
    I can’t rush His timetable, but I can reduce contention in my sphere. If I want a world where enmity ends, I can start with my words, my replies, my assumptions—and my willingness to build bridges where the world builds walls.

    Pocket I’m keeping

    • Live heaven’s law now.
    • No contention—beginning with me.
    • Zion = one heart, one mind, no poor.
    • Practice peace: listen, serve, reconcile.
    • Hope is a covenant, not a mood.

    What I hear now
    “The enmity of man, and the enmity of beasts … yea, the enmity of all flesh, shall cease” (D&C 101:26).

    Link to the talk
    “Preparing for the Lord’s Return,” General Conference, April 2019

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  • Today or Tomorrow, Now or Then, Endure to the End

    I become what I will — not by gift, not by chance,
    but like this still house on the prairie, rooted by water, framed by sky —
    I endure. I reflect. Today or tomorrow, now or then.

    Intro Paragraph (Why this poem?)

    There are things I rarely speak, not because they don’t matter — but because they do. Some stories are too sacred to explain plainly. I’ve carried burdens for decades — for family, for faith, and sometimes for people who never knew. This poem is not a confession. It’s a quiet map of where I’ve been and what it cost me to endure. If you’ve ever sacrificed in silence, this is for you.

    Today or Tomorrow, Now or Then, Endure to the End

    by Jet Mariano

    I become what I will—
    not by gift,
    not by chance.

    They said it was for the dream.
    But I never dreamed of this.

    Not the hauling at midnight,
    the cold linoleum behind the receiving dock

    but never my name.

    I didn’t come with love in hand—
    I came with a debt to pay.
    To rescue a soul,
    and carry a family
    across a sea of impossibilities.

    A job at USC
    became a cure for my father,
    a lifeline for my family,
    a bridge for my siblings
    to find homes I would never live in.

    And still, I smiled.

    Though phone jobs stripped my voice,
    while I studied with red eyes and calloused faith,
    and slept beside hopelessness

    They think I’m quiet now.
    They don’t know I’ve just spoken enough pain
    for a hundred lifetimes.

    I write it in playlists
    that no one plays but me.
    I express it in photographs I create—
    where silence can finally breathe.

    I date it in the margins of scripture
    where no one else will read.

    Let them think I’ve always been composed.
    Let them think the IT job made me.
    I know what made me:

    A God who watched me
    hauling furniture in Burbank
    and still whispered,
    “You are mine.”

    Today or tomorrow,
    now or then,
    endure to the end.

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    For usage terms, please see the Legal Disclaimer.

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